Week 2: Wisdom of Gandalf Applied to a College Student

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring 

"I wouldn't even care if it was in my time. I just wish it wasn't going to happen this Wednesday!"
The Gryphon, The Sojourn of the Scholar 

I currently sit on the second floor of the college library, surrounded by empty desks and lonely cubicles. This "early" in the morning (9:30 O_o) the cavernous abode is empty of pedestrians and earnest students alike. This is discounting the one Asian girl who is mumbling to herself in a different language on the window seat, and the two custodians chatting about something (nails and floor joists? Where is CrazyCraftsman or The Hunter when you need them?!). I look around, and I must admit that if one stripped the obnoxious modern "art" (twisted and tortured canvases sprayed with the most horrid colors in no comprehensible manner) the building might actually be a very classical place. Everything is made of stone which certainly creates a specific atmosphere, and the large floor to ceiling (and  the two happen to be three stories apart) windows give a perfect view of the snowy outdoors as I pensively look out them from my perch on the Media Center balcony. The shelves upon shelves of books could certainly keep me occupied for a lifetime  (or at least until next Tuesday). Definitely a good place.

You may be wondering, "what is he blathering about ?" or (if you are like my family) "QUICK CALL 9-1-1, Gryphon has entered his 'philosophical' phase! Strap him to a chair, play some John Wayne movies, and hook him up to an IV of Testosterone!" But, I assure you. I am completely in my "normal" state of mind, which may actually be scarier. I am actually taking a moment to breathe and (one sec *deep breath*) relax. This would be because of the rather strenuous/frustrating week that I have had. It included preparing for a message (which consumed the better part of a day, but was wasted because the meeting was cancelled due to snow anyway.), preparing for a Calculus test (the same day as the message), preparing for a fifteen minute presentation (which I will get to in a minute), building a discussion guide for Tuesday and Thursday, AND eating (a nearly religious act on my part). Add all this onto my normal propensity for sticking both feet so far down my throat that I can touch my toes to my tonsils, and you have a recipe for a gigantic headache. Needless to say, I was burning the candle at both ends (hence the quote above), and I am taking a moment to just remain stationary and let the cosmos swirl around me in an infinite dance of solar bodies.

*sigh*

Then I got bored and decided to write a new blog post. All that contemplation was causing me to question the indisputable fact that the universe revolves around my own harmonious self. Anywho on to the good stuff!

Retraction: I know. I know! The golden rule of college. "DO NOT PLAGERIZE! BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DO!!!!!!! JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T GET IT, HERE ARE SOME MORE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 Of course in my defense, I had no idea that I was plagiarizing. It was completely innocent. So, without further ado,
"I apologize from the very depths of my soul to Winona for posting the 'cow economics'  when she had already posted them on the Battle Arena."
There we go now my  conscience is clean. After all, literary integrity begins with you.

Theology: In my Christian History class, we had two fun little events. 1. We were discussing the origins of the faith, and Jesus Christ came up in the conversation. Go figure. We were happily discussing this when one of my "esteemed" colleagues came up with perhaps the brightest question ever asked. "I mean, like, how can someone actually die from crucifixion?" ........
-_-.......-_-.......-_-
 Yeeeeaaahhhh....He was being serious. It was rather embarrassing. Even the teacher didn't know exactly how to answer that. "Well after the bleeding, starving, and being nailed up on a tree, things tend to happen." Finally, I got ticked with this guy for asking such a stupid question, and I engaged in a 3 minute long diatribe detailing how the body reacts to being crucified and eventually succumbs to lack of oxygen in blood and ends up having a stroke. After I calmly explained in vivid detail the most horrific death sentence of the ancient world, there was silence. One guy in the front, who had turned towards me during my rant, simply said, "Dude, remind me never to get you mad again." Back-to-Blonde remarked, "And thus a serial killer is born." I simply smiled and replied, "Just wait till we get to the Spanish Inquisition, that is when the fun stuff happens."

2. This was more interesting and informative. The Pelagian Controversy was a doctrinal battle that enveloped the early church. Led by a man called Pelagius, this heresy stated that there was no original sin, but that Adam's fall instead only affected himself. He claimed that each individual was a clean slate that rose or fell by it's own actions, ignoring passages such as Romans. This attack on the idea that all men are born fallen led to some disturbing logical conclusions. If men aren't lost, then it is possible to earn salvation. If this is so, then why have grace? Why did Jesus have to suffer in our place? He emphasized man's free will over God's sovereignty to a point where God became an observer.

Pelagius was opposed by Augustine of Hippo. A very influential member of the early church, St. Augustine proclaimed a doctrine of Grace that was in essence this. (1) Adam and Eve fell due to their disobedience against God. (2) This fall separated them from a relationship with God and killed them utterly spiritually. (3) This position was passed on to all their progeny (us). (4) Because of our dead status, we could do nothing on our own to get back to God. (5) God in his mercy and sovereignty extended Grace through the sacrifice of his son. This view was adopted in the Council of Carthage, and the Pelagian Heresy was struck down, although it's spiritual successors still exist in the teachings of arminianism.

History: As I said, I gave a presentation, and it was okay. A solid performance by my standards. But then (que dramatic music) I was completely upstaged when four other presentees walked in with music stands and different brass instruments. Before I knew it "brass from the past" (that is what theu call themselves) regaled us with 15 minutes of Fugues and Renaissance dance music. I would be extremely jealous.......except it was too awesome! They were absolutely amazing, and I give complete props to them for totally overshadowing my wimpy (yet informative) lecture.

OH! I found someone who I would seriously consider making world leader. He is in my Doing History class, and he is truly a paragon of virtue. With his diplomacy he would soon have all parties at one table, and he would usher in a new age of peace and prosperity. What did he do you ask? This magnificent model of majesty brought.....wait or it.....DONUTS TO CLASS. I was floored. It was a truly humbling experience. Thank you mr. student for brightening my day.

Economics:  I would like to say a few words about income inequality. GET OVER IT! I would like to ask liberals and people who moan about "equality", what do you mean when you say equal? Do you mean that everyone gets the same? That is stupid. If I work my rear end off or come up with a great new idea or put all my money into a business, shouldn't I get more if I succeed? That is the very soul of capitalism! It is called harvesting the very incentive to succeed that drives every person. It is about creating a system that harnesses the immense self interest of the population and using to create a better nation......okay I am done ranting.

Calc: It is annoying. (who knew you could have the right answer and still be wrong.) 

This brings me around to the end. I don't know if anyone will enjoy this rambling, but I enjoyed writing it. If anyone gets the bottom of this, I have a question for you! If you don't answer this question I will now that you have just skimmed my post, and I will be sad.
Question: What game best represents real life? Here are some example answers:
Me: Chess: It represents the conflict, planning, and each piece so adequately represents a type of person!
Dad: Poker: It isn't chess or any other game. But if I have to choose, I would say poker, because no matter how good your hand is life might just bluff you out of your chips.
Professor: Connect Four: Interesting question! It just matters if you can get all the dots in a row.
Colleague: Checkers: Everyone is pretty much the same. You just have to take your opportunity to jump the other guy.

Oh look, the Asian girl got up. She is now talking with some blonde dude. I am going to go to class now. It is good to have a rejuvenating time to count your minutes. Enjoy the time you've been given everyone and make the best of it. Remember the sage advice of Gandalf and use your time wisely.

Bye